Boys With Girlfriends
by Nicole Lo
Summary: Leah-Jacob-Bonnie-Damon mixed pairings in series of ministories w/Vampire Diaries... 'When I feel its heat start to peel back my skin, threatening to whip through my flesh, I start to let the idea in. I am going to die. Dying. Dead. Up in flames.'
1. Chance Encounter: Bonnie and Jacob

**Chance Encounter**

**By: Nicole Lopez**

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No Story Here: Bonnie

Summary: **A series of one shots** devoted to exploring the characters Bonnie and Jacob … sometimes together and sometimes with other people like Leah!! I really want to explore every possible type of relationship there is and show the dynamics of a male-female bond beyond (but not excluding) the boundaries of crushes, sex and romantic comedy endings. This is just an experiment for me since I can't seem to commit to one story and keep up the motivation and writer's block fast enough for you guys. And if you want to see where, to goes give me your opinion. Nothing takes away the inspiration more than to see a story with little to no reviews. It takes forever to write this so show your appreciation!! Or hate … whatever. –NL)

(A/N: Semi-stream of consciousness and semi-random ramblings… --)

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This is not a story. No seriously. I'm not joking. If you think you're going to spend the next twenty minutes of your life reading some fantastic tale about vampires and werewolves and love … then you're wrong. That has nothing to do with me, at least not anymore.

Really, it was never my story to tell. It was Elena's and her love triangle that was forming even before she could see it. I could see it. But if you want the story on that one, talk to her and check out her autobiography.

This one is about me. And who am I? For starters, I should tell you that my name is Bonnie Bennet and besides where my parents come from and growing up in Mystic Falls, I can't really tell you that much about who I am either. I'm constantly reminded of who I'm _not _whenever I go places with Elena and Caroline.

They're like the sugar and spice thing and I'm just white rice. No _seriously_. In our pre-vamp days whenever we used to go out, the guys would scope out Caroline, if they wanted a quickie or a one-night stand, and Elena if they wanted a relationship.

If they ever talked to me, which rarely happened, they would be asking about one of my girlfriends. And I'd play the kind friend and give them the info back when I really wanted one of them to take notice of me. I guess I can blame my parents for picking the whitest community to live in.

If it were any whiter, we'd be back in the old south where Confederate flags and ignorant minds ruled but … Mystic Falls won't be resorting back to that anytime soon.

But in case you're wondering, my skin color isn't the topic of discussion either. I wouldn't have even known that I was different or *gasp* _black _until I kept getting comments about Oreos and crap. I wasn't 'really' black because I didn't _"act black" _… but I wasn't white enough to any of the neighborhood boys to notice me.

See now I'm just rambling on and going in circles and watch … a few lines later I will probably go back to it again—the fact that I am black and that I have no love life because of it.

But maybe that's not the fair thing to say. My color isn't really the problem. The problem is that I'm like a bird without wings. It's like one day I was flitting around in the air, full of purpose and intention and in one moment someone just sliced my life force out of me and I started dropping.

And dropping.

And dropping.

And I fell, _hard. _

That's what watching someone die feels like. Grams was like the extra arm I never knew I had, the 6th sense that I had long forgotten, the appendix that suddenly found its usage within me, only to be removed permanently.

And before you dismiss me as some naïve teenager who has never experienced a real emotion in her life, that's not me. I've had people die before. Many have walked into my life and out through the doors of death, but no one as profound as she.

And I was just starting to open up …

No. This story isn't going to be some depressing garbage that makes you want to stick your head in an oven because life is just too damn hard, too damn sad, and just too … _damn, _I lost my train of thought.

My point is, if I even really have one, is that I am so lost.

I can barely tell if I'm moving forwards or just repeating things from my past. And even though I am on my way out of Mystic Falls, I can feel it following me or rather wearing me like a thick, itchy blanket. I can imagine Damon's ill-intentioned eyes launching themselves towards me and taunting me.

I can see Stefan silently beckoning me to help Elena and I can see her confiding in me before ever asking if I need to talk to her first, just once.

Call me selfish for thinking that.

I should be grateful to have a friend to share a secret with. I should be all these different things, but I'm just some insecure girl. Some girl who is shamefully almost eighteen years old and no closer to losing her virginity than to sharing a genuine caress, a kiss of love with someone.

Anyone.

That's how desperate I am.

My thoughts consume my surroundings and it is only the shifting and constant movement next to me that makes me realize that I am not alone. I am not.

There is someone sitting beside me now, someone else who will play their little part in my journey here and then walk off to be forgotten again. I glance at the person next to me who is more like a culmination of everything a girl like me could never have.

He is muscular yet not overly so, friendly but serious and … _smiling at me? _

I want to turn around like an idiot to make sure he's not just bidding someone farewell from the train station. I instead pop out my mp3 player, since my parents are too frugal for an iPod, and put on some tunes to droneout my bleeding thoughts.

Meiko pops into my ears singing of her newfound revelations, of her misguided love for a guy who didn't deserve it. At least she had gotten that far. I closed my eyes, to close out the bustling noise around me, and most of all the guy who would've chosen Elena if she was here.

As the song got to the chorus, the guy next to me tapped my shoulder. My eyes flung open and I tried not to look annoyed. My eyebrows rose instead, proving inefficient at masking my surprise. He tilted a bag of potato chips my way, but I shoved them back with a polite smile.

The guy shrugged, opened the bag and started munching. As soon as I thought I was rid of him, he got my attention again, this time showing me a host of magazines. I smiled when reading some of the titles, writing the dude off as a total tool and puerile at best.

My grin widened once I saw an issue of CosmoGirl with Raven Symone and Zoe Saldana on the cover. Since when did they not put the classic yet boring and all too common tanned blonde on the front? Noticing my interest, he allowed me to take the magazine as I started to open it.

Eagerly, my eyes went the table of contents to find the articles about these two women. On the way I passed ads on hair straightening techniques, whitening teeth and interracial relationships but none of them caught my eye.

It had been at least ten minutes of me being engulfed in the article before I noticed that the guy seemed to be eyeing me, interested. Oh, so he was one of _those _types … you know, the guys who watch movies like _Something New _and start to get ideas about black women.

I pretended not to notice until I was done reading and he tapped my shoulder again. This time, I turned the music down.

"How was the article?"

"Good." I answered. "Thanks." Curtness was a virtue in my book when it came to situations like these. I was hoping dude would get the picture and leave it alone.

"My sister likes that one too." I nodded, about to up the volume. "What are you listening to?"

I was already anticipating this kid's next move. He was going to ask to listen and I wasn't in the mood to make this trip any less pleasant than it already was. "Here." I responded, handing him one of the earphones. Dude took it eagerly and started grinning.

When I realized that I had looped the music on Meiko's CD, I could see why. The final line of the song ended, 'you and onions make me cry…'

Now, I really felt like an idiot, but I left it alone and instantly recognized the next song. _Boys with Girlfriends. _

Jacob spoke at this point. "My sister loves this girl too … Meiko."

Subtly was never my strength. I usually came off as standoffish, shy, abrasive or … awkward.

"Why do you keep talking to me?"

"I saw you sitting here alone and I like meeting new people."

"Or are you just scoping out some out-of-state booty?" I wondered bluntly. There it was. Today my mood was acerbic.

"No." He laughed. "I'm not from around here either. I'm from Forks and … we're headed to Seattle."

"I'm sorry about that." I looked down embarrassed, glad that today I had my glasses to hide behind. I always wore them when I didn't want to be seen, and on really long trips…

"No worries." I watched the small, almost invisible mole on the corner of his mouth move with the curve of his smile. I clasped my hands together and decided to take the plunge … it wasn't really a plunge, I just wanted to make this whole thing sound more dramatic.

The guy talked and talked to me about where he was from, his family … and I somehow started talking about myself too. We found ourselves giggling and really hitting it off.

But there was something I forgot to ask him. I was here exposing very personal things about myself to a complete stranger, which was an adventure and a victory for me. As the conversation continued to flow without restraint or awkwardness, we both got so wrapped up in what was going on that we both almost missed our stop.

"I guess this is it." He looked at me remorsefully as I tried to stop the stream of thoughts from coming to my mind. I was seriously thinking about this guy, crushing on him after only knowing him for a few hours.

But it would never work. Even though he seemed genuine, he had some underlying reason for his kindness. I could see beyond his guiseof amenity since years growing up the way I did taught me not to be so easily beguiled by a pretty face.

And was this guy's face ever what I was looking for. He wasn't a typical white guy with over-dyed and fried hair and an abnormally thin nose. His nose was wide, what some would call big and his eyes small yet full of life and warmth. His is skin glowed like a delicious golden brown. Damn.

I was enchanted by this guy. I let him say his goodbyes, watching his muscles through the clear, almost transparent white fitted shirt he had chosen to wear. If this half of his body looked this good clothed, I could only imagine … just like always.

"Nice to meet you." I waved off, trying to hand him the CosmoGirl magazine.

"Keep it." He lightly placed his hand on my shoulder as I stared at him waiting for him to make a move and kiss me. _Do it. _I beckoned silently. I wanted some redemption from kissing that stupid ex-football player turned evil vampire.

I wanted to not play the role of the fool. I deserved to be the heroine, the one wrapped in a secret love affair. So what if it didn't bring back my wings of purpose? So what if I still roamed around confused about which way was which?

I would have his strong arms to guide me, protect me. And if he did, I would be totally caught up. _Kiss me. Kiss me. _

"Need help with your things?" He wondered, as I nodded like a deaf mute. He gave me another huge smile and lifted the luggage from its top compartment with ease. And I knew how heavy that stuff was and what I had to go through to get it up there.

"Thanks." I stood up close to him, now within leaning distance from kissing him. I wasn't going to be a fool this time and just go for it. I was waiting for him to do it. _Go on. _The guy moved closer to me and closer and just when I thought it was going to happen … I felt short hands and extreme heat covering my back. I almost jumped away in surprise, but the sensation left once his hands no longer touched me. It was a hug.

I stared at him expectantly as he smirked back at me.

"Bye." He waved suddenly, breaking our glance. I begrudginglywatched him leave and then proceeded to chuck my stuff out of the train to be picked up by my great-aunt on my mother's side, Aunt Isoke.

My disappointment only heightened while waiting for her. I tried not to try and search for his large figure in the crowd, but I saw it … and it was heading for Forks, Washington just like he said. I sighed, fingering the magazine, the only trace of our encounter, in my hands.

It could very well be that I imagined the whole thing and had picked up the magazine from a newsstand. I had done that before. Once, my vivid dream about my dad dying in a fire had me hysterical. It took days to calm me down.

And being involved in the mystical world it was easy to let the illogical rule my mind. I closed my eyes for a moment, convinced that my utter desperation had created such a false and cruel encounter. _Damn. _

I opened my eyes and shook my head, still holding the magazine until I realized that it wasn't a regular off-the-shelf periodical … it had an address on it and a name … 'Rachel Black…' I skimmed the label to see that this had come from Forks, Washington and that there was a very real possibility that I would be able to find this guy.

He had said he had a sister named Rachel. I tried to commit the address to memory only to recognize that the first two numbers had been cut off. Oh cruel, cruel fate … I cursed it only to remember that I could find him without it. I was a witch. And if I wanted to, I could see him again, I _would _see him again … I could feel it.

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(A/N: I get so tired of writing about girls who think the only thing worth living life is to be permanently glued to a guy but … I think I did it again. I really had no direction in this story, so I fell back on something familiar. And I really didn't want to delve in the Gramsdeath thing because death is way too real and irreversible … it's too real to me to be made into fiction. I hope this was at the very least intriguing and I guess that subconsciously I'll keep making Bonnie-Jacob fics until I get it right. And I've already written another one-shot and half of another … I just want to explore different scenarios related to my faves … Jacob and Bonnie. –NL)


	2. Never Meant to Be: Jacob and Leah

**Never Meant to Be (Part One) **

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It was never meant to happen simply because she was Leah. She was Leah and I had chosen Reneesme. A child she was but I didn't have a right to back out now. I wouldn't be her Sam.

"You're drunk…." The words slurred over my tongue like I had one too many myself. The truth?

I was so focused on her, infatuated that I was using her intoxication as my excuse. I sickly wanted us to act like normal people our age. If we weren't werewolves I could touch her, kiss her, melt my body onto hers and it would be fine.

I would take her hands and bend them to my will, hold her so tightly until she was breathless. And then I'd go back for more.

Leah made me crazy like this.

I'd been having these thoughts, some say _visions _about her for too long. Now was my opportunity.

"I need to get home." Leah brushed her hands over her face and I could see the gravity of the world was pulling her down. That meant that she was thinking about Sam.

Instinctively I reached over and held her tight to my chest, feeling wet tears stain my shirt and silent sobs of a girl hurting so badly. She looks up at me with such a sadness that it kills me not to…

I shouldn't …

My body is acting separately from my mind. I feel myself bending down and moving closer and closer until only a thin line of airs separates her lips from mine.

Leah looks confused and then gives me a small smile muttering, "Anything to take advantage huh?"

I want to shake her then and ask how could she be so blind? How could she not see how beautiful she is to me, how perfect how she was the one to help me get over Bella?

But what rights to I have to say these things?

My lips find hers anyway and I cannot believe that I'd been denied of something that sweet my whole life. I can never go back.

She rests her arms around my back insecurely and I lift her chin up so I can get a better look at her face. Tear-stained and pain-stricken, it captivates me.

I know why she is doing this.

We silently move into the shadows where no one can see. She presses me against the wall and I slide my body closer to hers. We can't possibly get any closer unless…

Leah reaches for my shirt. And I know where this is going. And I know why. Emily is pregnant. She doesn't have to say it because it's written all over her face.

"Perfection." I mutter, parting our mouths for only a moment to let her know how I feel. I can feel the air pricking my skin. My back, arms, thighs all nude against the night.

The sensation of her is just too much to explain. I do not want to ever forget this moment. Or to lose it. I cling to her passionately, hoping that somehow she'll remember. Somehow maybe my unparalleled fervor is enough to overcome her intoxication.

I know that if she hadn't been drinking, Leah would never touch me this way.

Her breathing intensifies and I feel the tension rising.

I feel like we're about to burst at any moment … _we're_. Us. Not Leah and Jacob but one … I turn my head for a second to breathe.

Then I realize that she is my life force.

I feel sharp pins claw into my back and I start to back off, but she pulls me in closer. I make the moment last as long as possible. Leah kisses me back like she enjoys it.

I reach for her to try and talk about what just happened. She turns her back to me. Her curvy figure briefly appears in front of me and then she dashes into the night.

We never speak of it again. Leah makes me promise not to even think about it.

But I do. Whenever I'm alone I run that night through my mind.

I try to talk to her, but she doesn't want to hear anything I say. Leah says that she's leaving. I know why.

The baby is due soon. I reach for a hug and she lets me comfort her one last time. And I lean in for a kiss that never happens. I don't hear from her for a while, almost a year. She's not coming back.

I call her desperately every week.

Most of the time she won't answer.

Leah is hiding something from me. I can tell. She denies it. I want to come and see her and she says no. I wait for the day when she'll say yes.

I'm thirty-four stuck in a seventeen-year-old body. But I don't give up.

Something big is going to happen. I dream about it. I know it … There's a knock on my door. I pray it's Leah…

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(A/N: I am trying so desperately to make short _fictions _and not mini-novels. This probably the shortest chapter I've written in over a _year_. Let me know what you think. This is just part one of this 'one-shot' because I'm going to tie it into one of my new favorite shows… Review for more. –NL)


	3. Fleeting Moment: Bonnie and Damon

**Fleeting Moment**

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Red. Blue. Yellow. Purple. Red. The colors of the fire are infinite. They're growing and winning. Even with calling upon the powers of my ancestors, I know that something fated is sealed. It cannot be changed. After all, we are only human. Grams taught me that.

And even though I know this, I still keep trying. The flames intensify. When I feel its heat start to peel back my skin, threatening to whip through my flesh, I start to let the idea in.

I am going to die. Dying. Dead. Up in flames.

Up until I felt the first flicker of heat touch my body, I had been able to ignore the sticky thickness in the air, the smoke.

I moved back a few more paces until I hit the wall behind me. Sliding to the ground, I pull my knees into my chest, realizing just how wounded I really am. One broken rib, maybe two? I guess this is my karma, my punishment for lying to Elena and almost killing two …half-dead souls in the process. In a way, I deserved this.

It's said that when you're about to die, when you're on the brink of death, your past flashes before your eyes. That doesn't happen.

My future flashed before me. I saw all the things that I would never get to do—go to college, fall in love, reunitewith Elena—I closed my eyes and shut the images out and hung my head in silent prayer. Now was the time to pray, beg for a swift death and for an eternity of—the thought leaves me.

Just as the sobs started and I could feel my breathing grow fainter and weaker, the scene before me was whisked away and I could see the sky, the grass. I could breathe again. I was… outside?

I am pulled back from the reality of an excruciating death to … a scene that looks mostly familiar. Behind the veil of my uneven bangs, I raise my head to see whose arms were cupping my body.

Vampire.

No, worse.

Damon.

My immediate reaction is to set him afire with my mind, but I am much to spent and … he saved me. I eye Damon curiously, who moves as though I weight no more than a newborn. In a few seconds he looks at me, his eyes implacable, glued to mine.

… And his body flowing along the ground as though he were flying.

It felt like he was carrying me for an eternity before he asked,"Are you okay?"

I looked for a bit of sarcasm, cynicism, sexual undertones … anything that would make me hate him. There is none.

I opened my mouth, and then closed it, knowing that I had lost the ability to make any sort of sound. I was dumbfounded that the vampire that had once tried to kill me, that I had hoped would be staked, was the one who had saved me. It was a little sickening.

I lowered my eyes, ashamed of the thoughts that are bubbling through my mind. Damon places me on my feet and when I stumble, he's there.

When I don't react, he moved in closer to me and starts touching my body, no … searching. He's looking for something.

"You're hurt?" Damon wondered, brushing my hair back to get a good look at my face. He notes the broken rids, the bruises on my back, unaware of the real reason that my knees buckle. I try not to look at Damon and wait for him to say something, anything to stop the niceness.

I needed to hate him again.

"You have a cut…" He continue, placing his hands on either side of my face and then brushing away my bands. _It just feels so good_. _Cool hands, smooth skin. _

As I am thinking all kinds of inappropriate things, Damon seems to move even closer. By now his lips are just so close…

Even if I stayed put, if I just moved my tongue out there a little … it would touch his mouth. Even if I just decided to lick my lips…

I'm staring at him wondering if I've given myself away. _Does he know what I'm thinking? How I really feel about him? _

Is it that I've been hiding all of my feelings for him behind the mask of hate? _I don't care_.

As if he could predict everything I was going to do, Damon's mouth cupped mine, our tongues meeting instantly. I had never felt anything that powerful in my life. The coolness of his skin against mine, and the feel of his hands grazing the sides of my face.

I hold me closer to me. _Please don't go. _

If Damon is surprised, he doesn't show it at all. But he does hold me carefully. We embrace so long that I can barely breathe. I curse my humanness. _Don't let go_.

I am greedy. Regretfully, I pause for a moment and then rub his lips with mine. Softly.

Damon seems to be daring me to do it again, his left hand sliding down the side of my body and stopping where my waist meets my hips.

His hand rests comfortably over my skin, my shirt no longer separating us. _Beyond amazing. _

All of the repressed feelings that I'd had for him came to her surface and I felt that somehow my life had been renewed. I look down again with a small smile and Damon lifts my chin, forcing me to look at him. _Kiss me again_.

He does. And it is even more powerful than before. _Don't hold back_.

"Bonnie!" A distant voice yelled out. It'd been going on for a while … just long enough to tear Damon apart from me, just long enough for him to disappear into the shadows. "Bonnie!" _Elena_.

"Elena?" I turn slightly, not wanting to leave that memory with Damon behind. But he's gone. "What are you doing here?" I asked, surprised.

"I'm so glad you're okay." She tugged onto me so tightly that I couldn't even move. "Thank God you're not dead."

"Yeah. Thank God." I repeated slowly, wondering if he was still out there … watching. I thought that I could feel him, but I wasn't quite sure. _Are you there?_

Elena wraps her hand around me and helps me walk back to her car. Stefan is waiting. Damon is still watching. _I hope_.

As we drive further and further away I know that it's over. It was just a moment of stupidity. _It can't last_.

I've never felt anything like that before and it runs through my mind. Elena tries to strike up a conversation, but my mind is focused on Damon. I secretly wish that she had never found me. That moment was cut down, make too short. _Fleeting. _

I didn't get a chance to see … to try … to say … _I may love him. _

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(A/N: My first and maybe only Bonnie-Damon pairing. Hope you liked it. Review. --NL)


	4. Fleeting Moment: Part Two

**To Save You **

**(A/N: For more, review.) **

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Old. Dark. Gray. Haunted. Death. That's all I saw at the Salvatore house. And no matter how much I tried to push back the nagging feelings, the tugging at my skin that begged me to turn in the other way, I had to walk in. I'd made a promise. _Focus. _

I was here to see Elena. _Go_.

Elena who insisted on living here so that no one could hurt the Salvatore brothers. _Going now. _

My body seemed to move of its own accord, making it to the front door and pushing it open boldly. "Elena!" I called out trying to see if she was here. We had plans for a Girls Day Out, one of our futile attempts at being normal again.

It was strange to be in this old house, filled with so many memories. The energy was so thick, it nearly suffocated me. And I was sure that Damon was here.

"Elena, come on!" I yelled as if I were entering a dark, endless cave trying to get my friend to come to the light before it was too late.

There was no response, nothing that signaled any sign of life except …. a host of giggles and uproar that caught my attention. Maybe she was watching T.V. and didn't hear me? As I got closer it sounded much more live … because it wasn't the T.V.

The door was slightly cracked open when my eyes feel upon the sight of two girls. Two girls and Damon. _Don't watch_.

But I was submissive to it and my feet were planted where they were. I only moved to crouch down some when I thought I'd been discovered. I watched Damon touch and kiss and flirt with these girls openly. As his mouth touched theirs, I wished and imagined that it was me. _Again. _

Then, I started to judge my beauty up against theirs. _They win_.

Had it not been for the thing I saw next, more clothing being removed until the trio was left with just their underwear on, I felt hot liquid boil in my throat. I had to let it out. _Run_.

But I couldn't , not until Damon stared at me as he pierced the girl's naked flesh with his sharp fangs. I felt sick and embarrassed for being caught. And then I felt fear.

Even though it had only been a few weeks since the near-death-incident and my body was still in recovery, I ran as fast as I could down the stairs. When I missed the next step, I prepared myself for a hard fall, reaching for something to stabilize me.

"You should be more careful." Damon's sarcastic voice whispered into my ear as he caught me, just in time. I started to feel weak and helpless like I did during the fire, feeling like we were reliving that moment again.

"I was looking for Elena." I managed to get out, unable to disguise my heavy breathing even with a calm, even voice.

"And you found my bedroom instead. Funny how that all worked out. But you're welcome there, _any _time." I narrowed my eyes as he said this. There it was. Here was the Damon that I hated. One more comment and I wouldn't be able to control the fire from within.

"You can put me down now." I demanded. "Ass." I whispered under my breath when he didn't do so immediately.

Damon smirked. "Stalker." He whispered back playfully, stroking my hair. _Damn it. _

"I'll wait for Elena in the car." He placed me on the ground carefully, still using one of his arms to support my weight.

"What about your … leg?" He pointed at it. "You're hurt. Again." Damon clinched his jaw together as though he were thinking about the same thing that I was. The fire. The rescue. The earth-shattering kiss.

"I wouldn't want you to get the idea that it's okay to kiss me again, so I'll manage." I turned my back to him and pressed my lips together, urging them to stop burning. I could imagine his cool body—_Stop it. _

"But you _liked _it." Damon responded in his sickeningly accurate way. Was he reading my mind or something?

"Damon, I want nothing to do with you. I barely even remember what happened." I turned around, adrenaline pumping. "And just so you know … You are a murderous, sick monster and there's nothing that you have that I need. So please … just stay out of my way."

"Have it your way." Damon brushed past me as though he wasn't fazed at all by my insults. And he might not have been. If he felt the way I did about that kiss, than he would care, but I was guessing that is aloofness meant that he didn't care? _Why should he_?

With a grunt of frustration, I tried to move towards the door, but found myself in more pain than before. I kept going until I felt hands on my waist, _cold _hands.

"What are you doing?"

"You'll never make it outside. Let me help-"

"No. I've got it." In pushing him off, I managed to tumble to the floor, hard. I shouldn't have left the crutches. When I looked up, instead of seeing a pompous face, there was concern. True, genuine emotion coming from Damon. "Don't make me ask for help." I sighed, giving in as I once again felt my body pressed against his cold chest. He carried me into the living room and placed me on the couch.

"Have you been resting?" He wondered, getting serious suddenly.

"It's just a little scratch. I'm not going to let that hold me back." I knew he was talking about the broken bones and bruises from the incident, but I was determined to keep living normally … and I didn't want to tip off my parent's radar.

"Do you want me to … see if everything's okay?" Damon asked me as I nodded and tried to ignore the fact that his hands were on my bare skin. The coolness almost burned, temporarily relieving me of any pain I was feeling before. When his hands moved, I was back to reality.

And then I exhaled deeply.

"Are you okay?"

"Why do you care?" I looked at him, keenly**.** How was I even remotely attracted to a guy that was about to have two women for lunch, _after _sleeping with them? What the hell was wrong with me?_ You're into him. _"Damon…" I urged, wanting him to say the impossible.

"You haven't been to the doctor have you?" He wondered, tracing his hands around my still-raw burns. He started from my lower back but noticed that the burns went up to the top of my shoulder and right below my collar bone.

"It's fine." I hissed, but I didn't protest when the ends of my shirt went further and further into the air until it was no longer touching my body. Damon quickly scooped me up again and moved me to the kitchen counter where he could see me better.

"I'm going to take care of this, okay?" He warned me, sliding down the left side of my bra strap as I nodded. I could feel my heart rate pick up. _Stay calm. He's just being nice. It doesn't **mean **anything. _

"Can you … get to it?" I barely voiced. "You can … get the back." I offered, pulling my hair to the front of my shoulders to cover my breasts. My back felt free, but I was nervous, breathing intensely and I'm sure that he noticed.

"I won't hurt you." He promised, cleaning and wrapping bandages around my burn wounds. I clutched my arms around my chest keeping my eyes lowered. I was ashamed. And suddenly, I no longer felt cold hands on my body. _It's over. _

I breathed a sigh of relief and looked up. Damon caught my gaze. And instinctively we were moving into each other, closer and closer. I could feel his cold flesh against my lips before it happened. And then I turned so that it wouldn't happen.

"I can't."

"Scared that I'll ruin your virtue or … whatever?"

"No. Last time it was inevitablebecause of the situation. You saved my life. If you kiss me now and I let you, it'll mean … something that I can't force myself to understand or believe in."

"Oh you want the lovey dovey high school sweetheart, true love waits kind of guy." Damon backed away seemingly unscarred, and back to making stupid little jokes about people's standards. "Or I'm not human enough for you?"

"No and Yes." I responded as Damon stopped to look at me as if I were changing my mind. It wasn't that. "He just has to be alive. And not an asshole. And not someone I hate, someone who my Grams _died _for. Someone so evil-" As I was off ranting on my list, Damon scooped me up, placing my legs on either side of him. I stopped speaking and he stole a kiss from me.

One long, stupid, meaningless kiss… at least that's what I'd tell myself when I thought about it later. _It's not that amazing_. Not to mention my bare, exposed back and the overwhelming intensity of it all. I wanted to have him forever in that moment. I wished that it was that simple, that I could forgive what he was and what he'd done.

"Don't kiss me again." I demanded, but my mouth found his and I pressed my naked breasts against his bare chest. In the midst of it all I didn't know how we both ended up topless, our skin inseparable. _Slut. _When I'd composed myself again, Damon spoke.

"I'm sorry about your Grams." He muttered, running his mouth down the side of my neck. Panic and fear rose in my chest. He was going to bite me. _Run_.

"No!" I yelled pushing him off with my thoughts, a power I never knew that I had until that moment.

As I shoved my hoodie back on, Elena and Stefan walked into the house joyfully.

"What's going on here?" Elena asked, noticing the clothes and the ground and that I had just slipped my other arm into the hoodie.

"I was waiting on you." I whispered simply, tears in my eyes that barely masked the fear. "Let's go."

"Bonnie." She called back at me as I kept walking.

"Damon?" Stefan looked to his brother for answers, but by then he had already run off.

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(A/N: Found it! I want your opinions about where this should go. I won't make it too long, but you asked for this pairing so … I also have another part to _Chance Encounter, Punching Bag _and another one that I haven't even posted yet. –NL)


	5. Punching Bag: Bonnie and Jacob

**Punching Bag **

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Note: The "Punching Bag" stories are rated M to MA.

Summary: A lost Bonnie Bennett finds herself in a world where she suddenly feels completely helpless. After nearing dying, she redefines her life and knows that she can never forsake her liberator. She gives herself to him completely, losing herself in love and being dragged down into a life of fear, anxiety and death.

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**Chapter One: Go Dark**

Tears were welling in my eyes, forming themselves like these huge clear bubbles that kept expanding and growing. It was only a matter of time before they undulated onto my cheeks, and then I'd really be in trouble then.

I was really trying not to make him angry with me this time, but I was never very good at keeping him happy and stopping myself from getting hurt. It was just so hard not to show my emotions, especially pain and especially under these circumstances.

As I watched Jacob do it, I couldn't even imagine … Embry was his friend, a really close friend but that didn't stop Jacob. Nothing seemed to. He was unstoppable, which was terribly frightening but also one of the reasons that I stayed with him.

But it wasn't out of fear. I don't want you or anyone else to think that I don't love Jacob because I do. I love him so much it hurts. I'd hurt myself before I'd do anything to harm him. I live, breath for him because I'm that desperate.

I think I'm off rambling again about things that I shouldn't even be revealing anyway, but I can't keep quiet about this forever. I just couldn't believe it was Embry.

When Jacob first started 'protecting' me, it ended with the death of a couple of vampires that had followed me from Mystic Falls to Forks, Washington. I was only there for a visit, a ski class trip that Elena and I decided to go on. She backed out and I was stuck going by myself.

It really doesn't make any sense, _really _why I'd be of any interest to them, but I found myself in the dark in the woods doing the same thing that the crazy, stupid people did on the _Blair Witch Project _and every other really bad horror flick.

I did it just to clear my head. Senior year was coming to an end. College was uncertain for me and my friendship with Elena was strained. I guess I kind of blamed her for a lot of things that went wrong in my life…

But I'm not going there with you. Not just yet … not until I get this out.

So, When I was stupidly walking into the night in the dark, I didn't hear anything when the two vamps surrounded me. They were that good. I didn't shriek or run, even though my flight instincts were much stronger than the fight ones … I kept cool and was going to fight every part of my body shut down.

It didn't have to go that far because Jacob was there. He was ordered to guard the woods that night, which he did eagerly.

When I first met him, he was an oversized, coarse-coated wolf with angry in his eyes. He ripped them apart seemingly simultaneously and I instantly knew that I wanted him to be in my life. I watched as he fell to the ground suddenly, brought down so quickly after his victory as though to remind him of his own mortality.

He was hurt … and _dying_. I rushed to his side, unwilling to lose my savior so prematurely. With everything I knew about myself and about my powers, I called on the power of my Grams and Emily to help me save him. I chanted and prayed, soothed him and did everything I could to make him heal.

And he did. Jacob got stronger and stronger each day and the shield that I put up was able to keep any harm away from us. I talked, sang, and rocked his body back and forth for days until the pack finally found him.

They found him and took him away, just like that … leaving me kneeled on the ground in prayer position. Panic grew in me and I couldn't just let them take him away so easily! I scurried to my feet and followed them. They threatened me and told me to go away, but I wouldn't and I couldn't.

I followed them. And when we got to a house, they went inside and I waited outside for Jacob to come for me. I would've waited there forever.

When he finally did come out, it was two days later.

"What the hell are you doing here? Go _home_." He yelled, walking powerfully as though he would attack me at any moment. When I refused to move, he gave me a small shove in the opposite direction and said, "Go." This should have been my first warning, but I was young and stupid.

"I can't leave you. Ever." I whispered, wrapping my arms around him and taking in his scents. "I'll stay with you." I decided firmly as Jacob's expression softened and he smiled, triumphed.

"Fine. But you'll have to stay in this really small house with me and my sister."

"No parents?" I asked innocently.

"No. Not anymore."

* * *

It didn't take long for me to love Jacob. I had been waiting for someone like him since Damon almost took my life. And I longed for him again once Grams was gone. Now, here he was.

From the start, I could see the inner conflict in him. Sometimes he was happy… so happy that he could make everyone laugh without even trying. In these times he was gentle, sweet, and he showed everyone that he was mine.

Then there was the side of Jacob that came out rarely, but scared me nearly to death. This Jacob was belligerent, angry, hostile, possessive, rough and confrontational. He would jerk me around and forced whatever he wanted onto me.

That was the Jacob I tried to avoid, I tried to stop from appearing, but he started coming up more and more which is in essence why I even began my friendship with Embry.

The thing with Embry was actually kind of fun. We were always hanging out, mostly because of Jacob and the others from the recently reunited pack. We played around a lot and he reminded me of the Jacob I used to know, but much much shorter and a little more clever.

The time I remember most with him is back when we all attended a formal at a club in Seattle. It was for teens fifteen and up. I remember that Jacob didn't really want to go, but everyone else was going and I wanted to…

Jacob went in with us and then wandered around the entire time, not even talking to me or asking me to dance. "I better go find him." I said to Embry who was the only one from our group sitting down with me.

"Don't worry about him. Jacob's in a pouty mood so let him mope. We're here to have a good time, right?" I nodded, but I was still worried about Jacob. Something was weighing on his mind, heavily but he wouldn't tell me what it was.

"So, I guess you'll dance with me then?"

"Of course. I'd never deny someone as beautiful as you…" Embry complimented as I took his hand and we started moving to an Amerie song. Before we could even get into the groove of the fast mix, a slow jam by Jill Scott started.

"Maybe we should-"

"It's cool. Jake is cool." He reassured me as I relaxed a little and rested my head on his shoulder. To tell the truth, I was really exhausted these days, exhausted but I didn't know why. It was probably stress and I didn't want to ruin the good time we were having so I kept my complaints to myself.

When I looked up at Embry, he was still smiling and I pressed my lips together, trying not to grin back. It was so hard not to. I looked away just in time to feel his lips brush the side of my face. "Em … This isn't the place for that."

This wasn't the first time that he had been so forward and flirted with me. We did it all the time just … not when Jacob was in the same building with us.

"Would you calm down, alright? No one even noticed." He whispered into my ear, giving me another quick kiss there. "You smell like cherries tonight."

"And you smell like you want Jacob to kick your ass." I joked back. "You can ogle me all you want, but I'm not doing anything with you with everyone around."

"Then what are we waiting for? Let's go!" He announced, keeping his hand around my waist and leading me out of the club.

"What about-"

"I'll get Leah to keep him busy. They've always had unspoken chemistry." He commented as I crossed my hands over my chest. _Leah_? Was this guy serious?

"Leah?" I asked out loud.

"Yep. Don't let the attitude fool you, she's actually really feminine and sexy underneath it all."

"You say that like you've done something with her before…" I accused.

"I haven't but we've all seen and relived the images of her and Sam together." Embry explained. I nodded to show my acceptance and he led me to another club that wasn't too far away. I felt a little ridiculous being so dressed up, but we got in without being carded.

That was because I made us invisible to the bouncer until we got in. Embry thought it was because he looked so much older and I let him think that. When we got into the club, it just breathed sweat and raunch.

Embry helped me take off my cardigan and we made our way to an empty spot on the dance floor. Here, in the back, dark corner with no one around, I felt free to do what I wanted to do. I danced with Embry how I'd only dreamed of dancing with someone in public.

I could feel his body on mine, pressing through our clothing and forcing off/scaring away all our inhibitions. I danced as if Embry were my lover.

When the night was over, it was around 2am. We were both sweaty and smiling at what we had done, our 'deceit,' our 'betrayal' had been fun. "Let's do it again." I requested, Embry wrapping his hand around mine.

"The night's not over yet."

"What else is there left to do?" I inquired facing him this time.

"Bonnie … you know what I want to do. You know what's on my mind-"

"You're drunk." I answered back.

"Maybe, but you had a few shots too … if anyone asks anything you could just say you got wasted and don't remember." Embry offered.

"And aren't you promised to someone?"

"Aren't you?" He muttered into my ear, warming it with his lips, with his tongue, with …

"Okay. But just because I'm curious. I love Jacob." I reiterated as Embry licked his lips and nodded. "But I don't want him to know this happened … EVER." I bargained, not knowing what would want to make me ruin what I had with Jacob out of curiosity.

But that desire was there along with the opportunity, so I took it.

I went to bed that night with Embry, letting him do whatever he wanted to me, as I customarily did with Jacob, but it was different because Embry asked me what I wanted. Like I knew? No one had even asked me before so I told him to do what he normally did.

And as shameful as it is to admit, I really did enjoy what we did. It was easy and it felt nice and I kissed him when it was over whispering, "Thank you … I needed that."

If I could've somehow foreseen the consequences of that action, I would've practiced a little self-restraint. I wouldn't have enjoyed it and had it written all over my face.

"Where have you been all night?" Jacob questioned once I walked into the door. I wasn't expecting him to be up at 6am, but there he was and I wasn't prepared.

"I got wasted." I decided to say after a while of silence. That wouldn't stick and I knew it. Jacob was a werewolf. He could _smell _the sex on me, smell what we had done and know that it wasn't him who did it to me.

"So you had sex?"

"I don't know." I lied, looking as tired as I felt.

"Was it good?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." I tried to make my way to his bedroom.

"Was it good?" Jacob screamed, clutching my arm and digging his fingers into my skin.

"Jacob, stop. Stop!" I yelled back until he finally let go. "What the hell's the matter with you?"

"I can smell that someone's dick as been inside of you-"

"Stop it. We'll talk about this tomorrow." I decided, heading for the shower instead.

"Do you admit it?"

"I'm not going to talk about this with you because you've obviously been drinking too … unless you just lost your mind." I shot back boldly. Once I did so, I felt a sharp pain across my left cheek. It burned. I held my face in shock, trying to stop the pain as Jacob just looked down and shook it head. That was how it began, but that was just the beginning of this chapter…

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(A/N: This is a little AU or out-of-character, but I got tired of Jacob always being the nice guy. It gets a little boring. He's a little less cookie cutter here. I want your opinions on it and if you don't know who Bonnie is … check out the _Vampire Diaries_. I love feedback because it lets me know if anyone's reading. –NL)


	6. Punching Bag: Part Two

**Flirting with a Nation that Wants to See Me Destroyed**

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My exhaustion turned into crankiness which, turned out to be the beginnings of a pregnancy. I was going to have a baby. An at home pregnancy test that Leah helped me to take, confirmed it. And it only felt fair to tell Embry too. It had been more than just a couple of weeks since we'd had each other and since I had been too scared to see him as openly as before.

But this news left me shaken. I banged on his front door until Embry answered, shirtless and looking just as tired as I was.

"Hey beauty." He greeted me with a friendly hug, a guise of our real relationship together.

"I don't have time to play around. I have to tell you this … I'm going to have a baby."

"And you think it could be mine." Embry added for me.

"It's possible. We did do it and I don't remember if we used any protection. I was just so-"

"Calm down Bonnie. It's alright." He hugged me again and then kissed me softly. "Don't worry about it. I'll man up and take care of it. I promise that nothing bad will happen to you. I'll take care of it." Embry promised and he did.

He did by unknowingly sacrificing himself for me. The moment he told Jacob about what we had done and the pregnancy, he sealed his own death. Jacob caught Embry off guard, clawed him to death and left me in the truck to watch. It was awful because I told Embry to meet me in the woods that night. I knew it was a set-up.

I was hoping that he'd hear the fear in my voice. I was hoping that I could project a thought into his mind of not to go, but it never reached him until it was too late. And Embry was dead. Jacob had killed him. And he was trying to force me to dig a hole for the body.

I rushed back to the car because I couldn't do it. Jacob was done quickly and although he was very dirty… and naked … he didn't seem bothered at all. I kept my mouth shut, afraid to do or say anything. I was hurting badly for Embry and didn't know how I was going to be able to live with this secret.

"We tell no one." Jacob commented, sternness on his face. "We take this to the grave."

Those words through me over the edge and I started bawling.

"Bonnie. Bon … get it together." Jacob growled roughly.

"We can't talk about it ever to each other either? Not even now?" I wondered as Jacob shook his head both times.

"No. But I'm not through with you."

And he wasn't. When he had come back, Jacob had cracked open a can of beer, swallowing one whole before walking over to me. I was facing the window in the kitchen, trying to get it together. I kept seeing pieces of Embry's body being ripped to shreds. Blood was flying, hair, … and Jacob had held up his castrated penis for me to see as though it were a trophy. I could feel the bile rise up to my throat. I was going to be sick.

"So … how was he?"

"What?" I wondered, taken aback by Jacob's question.

"You let Embry hit that. I want to know what he did. How was he … did he compare to me?" Jacob inquired insecurely, getting closer to me.

"It was just sex. Nothing special about it." I answered, then pressing my lips together tightly.

"Did he kiss you down … there?" Jacob reached his hand between my legs as a demonstration and I reacted by pushing him off.

"No. Never." Now I was starting to get scared. The Jacob that I had fallen in love with wasn't there at that moment. I didn't know _who _this guy was in front of me, but I wanted to get out. Now.

I turned to walk away, thinking that the conversation was over.

"Good." Jacob pressed himself against my back, trapping me between the wall that was nearest to me and his impenetrable body.

"What are you doing?"

"I want to prove to you how good I am. I want you to know that no one can love you better than I do." He slurred his words ever so slightly.

"Jacob." I warned. "Not now. I'm pre-"

"Don't say it." He lifted up my dress and ripped off my underwear, forcing himself onto me. I didn't scream out of fear for my life. I let him do what he wanted to me for as long as he wanted. Jacob loved me, I reminded myself. He would protect me. He was just going through a hard time.

And for that reason, I not only stayed but I put a spell on both of us … to take away the guilt over Embry. It would be like he had never even been killed.

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(A/N: Nothing to say except, **tell me what you thought about this chapter. Review. **Luv. -NL)


	7. Punching Bag: Part Three

**Punching Bag: Part Three**

**Someone, They Should've Warned You **

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Seven and a half months later I gave birth to twins, who had been reluctant to come out of the womb. I didn't blame them. Every day I prayed for them. I didn't want them to come out and be born … not until I could figure Jacob out.

They came anyway. I guess the will of nature is much stronger than the will of man.

When I touched my baby girl for the first time, I could feel the light and beauty of the world on her. She would be one of the forerunners in bringing peace to this life, to uniting the world. She was happiness.

It took a while until Jacob finally let go of his son, a while until he was placed in my arms without Jacob eyeballing me. And when he did, I felt sick.

My son's aura as astonishingly like Jacob's. It was dark, angry, aggressive, violent. My son carried a heavy burden with him, a burden that was terribly unhappy and that manifested in cruelty and anger.

I would do whatever I could to help him, to stop this from being his destiny. Jacob was the key to this. If he was happy, everyone would be happy too. I vowed that this was my duty, to appease him to keep him happy and to remember that no matter what he did to me, that I loved Jacob and I owed him my life.

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For a while, my plans to make it work with Jacob went pretty well. Or maybe I had just done so many spells to hide away the scars, erase the pan and forget the past … that I was fooling myself. I lived in this 'happy' life until the children were almost two years old, when they got sick.

I remember when I met their doctor, Dr. Alboni a Nigerianman who was very kind and skilled with my children. I was very surprised to see him, for this was not the first time we had met.

I met him a few weeks back while going out to dinner with Leah at a new restaurant in Seattle. I'd given this guy a phony telephone number and everything, like I customarily did to protect myself from ever being tempted by anyone other than Jacob.

The truth is that I was starving for more than what he was giving. I was missing the kindness, the unconditional love, no name-calling. I wanted to feel good every time I was with someone and not just when they felt like being nice to me.

That's why I went out and gave numbers and got numbers that I never called. Numbers that I would destroy before ever walking into Jacob's house.

Once Dr. Albonihad checked out the children and prescribed them a medication, he looked over at me and smiled.

"I'm sorry about that … number." I apologized. "It's just that I'm a new mother I want to stay focused and really be good to them." I purposely omitted Jacob.

"Do you feel focused now?"

"I guess I do." I nodded noticing that he was just as handsome as I remembered. And he was obviously successful, good with kids, kind. _Stop it Bonnie. _

"They have an ear infection. What you can do is take this…" He explained the whole situation to me but I was too focused on other things, things that a woman in a relationship with another man shouldn't be thinking of. I nodded on cue and when he stood up, I followed his movements.

"Well, see you when you bring in the kids for a check-up."

"WAIT! That's it?" I asked, attracted to his softness.

"Yes." He answered as I had a brief internal struggle with myself. Stop it. Just walk away.

"I think I have more questions about …. The kids. Do you think you could give me a few tip on what to do, what not to do?" This was pathetic and it would never work. I was using my kids to get a date. "I know you're busy here but I was thinking- "

"Okay."

"Okay?"

"You have my number and this is your real, working number?" He wondered as I nodded. So the doctor remembered me. "I will call you."

* * *

Dr. Alboniand I went to a super casual place, Noodles and Company, which couldn't possibly be considered a date in any stretch of the imagination unless I was a college kid. I wanted to make the statement that this was in no way a date, but I did all the things I would do if I were going on a date … I took a shower, put my hair up, wore something light and sexy and sprayed a new perfume.

And did I forget to mention that I neglected to say anything about this to Jacob?

When we got there, he looked casual but like he had taken time to get ready … I refrained from telling him how good he looked and stuck to safe topics: kids, medicine, and general ideologies. Nothing about love, love interests, attraction, etc was mentioned.

But the conversation didn't even need any of that. He was very different from Embry, the last guy I'd acted on my feelings for since Jacob. He was … more mature, gentle, kind, and not interested in me for my body, which I liked.

I felt light and airy at our "not-a-date" dinner. Everything felt new and exciting to me and I didn't want to leave even though I'd overstayed by an hour. I would have to think of a lie to cover myself, but all I could think about was when and how I was going to see Dr. Christian Alboni****again.

"Do you go to the park?" I asked as he helped me put on my jacket and we started to leave.

"The park … over by…"

"The water. That one. Do you go?"

"When I have time."

"I take the kids there every Thursday afternoon around four. It's the one weekday where I don't have to work so I keep them out all day to make up for it." I explained quickly. "If you're ever there, we hang out by the playground, a lot."

"I'll let you know. I'll call you." He responded as I nodded and we went our separate ways. I was smiling the whole ride back home until I came upon the run-down shack that was my home with Jacob, our kids, and his sister Rachel.

I sighed, my entire mood changing. It was for the best. If Jacob saw that I came into the house happy, there'd be another fight and I didn't feel like having the shit punched out of me after such a beautiful night. I wanted to end this day on a good note.

"Hey honey."

"Babe." Jacob came up behind me and kissed me on my neck, nibbling slightly. This signaled that he wanted to have sex tonight.

"I'm tired." I yawned.

"Where were you?"

"Out with Leah and the girls, remember?" I lied, thankful that I'd already run this by Leah.

"No more Girls' Nights Out. They make me nervous."

"No one is going to steal me away from you." I joked with a smile. "I belong to you and you know it." I stepped out of my shoes and away from him. He hadn't been drinking today which explained why he was so much more pleasant.

"You belong to me?" Jacob repeated with a smile.

"Don't act like you don't know it." I answered back.

"Then show me." Jacob responded, pressing his lips together. "Me and you." He started to unzip my dress from the back.

"But the kids-"

"Are spending the night with Sue Clearwater. I wanted us to have some time alone."

"Jacob-"

"You belong to me, remember?" He whispered into my ear in a way that was both exciting and frightening at the same time. I knew what I had to do. I knew what Jacob wanted so I obediently removed everything that I was wearing and turned to face him.

I would do whatever he wanted and let him do whatever he wanted to me because I loved him and I wanted him to know it. "I love you." I whispered as Jacob lifted me off the ground with ease and carried me into the bathroom with him, placing me on the counter.

I let myself go and gave into my physical desires, but it wasn't nearly as freeing as my dinner with Christian a few hours earlier. As Jacob loosened his hold on me, I slid into the bathtub and relaxed thinking about the next time I would see him…

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**A/N: Tune in to see how it all ends and if Bonnie will ever be free of Jacob! –NL **


	8. Punching Bag: Part Four

**Punching Bag: Part Four**

**Cracked His Chest Open to Reveal His Heart**

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It's not cheating if you're just getting to know someone. So what if I'm attractive to him? So what if I sneak out to see him and am more excited about that than coming home to Jacob? It's not cheating until you cross the platonic line and kiss…

Which happened eventually. I was able to keep my relationship with the doctor platonic and a secret for four months. Four months of denying myself an unconditional, real, fear-free relationship. Then it happened. One day I got fed up.

Jacob and I got into an argument, he hit me and that's when I snapped and hit him back. It was stupid, I know. I had to come up with a healing potion to make the bones in my hand heal faster, but it felt good to at least try to hurt him the way he hurt me. It was my first act of rebellion.

And my second was when I kissed _Christian_for the first time. This went on for another two months until I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I told him that I loved him and wanted to be with him forever and I meant it. We consummated the relationship and a month later I was pregnant, again. The twins were now two, close to three years old and I was scared out of my mind. I couldn't hide it from Jacob, so I told him that I was pregnant. It made him happy to hear the news until he realized that it wasn't his child.

I can still remember what he said to me … "I should cut that little bastard out of your stomach, you stupid slut …. I would think that you would _learn, _but there you go whoring around again."

"Jacob, don't be stupid."

"Stupid?" He rushed up to me and pushed his finger into my forehead, catching me off guard and I shut my eyes in fear. "Ha. Not even worth it." Jacob spat out angrily.

"So what are you going to do?"

"Kill him."

"You can't." I cried, tears streaming down my face.

"I wasn't going to, but since you like him so much …. I won't share you Bonnie with _anyone_. And you belong to me, remember?"

Jacob started his plan a week later. A week later and I was there digging a ditch for Christian, watching his body still breathe shallowly. He was still alive, but I was too afraid to say it out loud. Jacob might've exploded and ripped his head off or something.

It was lucky that Jacob had just pierced his abdomen with a knife. Embry didn't have a chance … it's funny that I remember him now. The spell must be wearing off.

"Are you coming?" Jacob wondered when everything was done.

"No."

"No?"

"No. Give me a moment." I begged in between tears. I sat crouched down, waiting until he was gone before I called on the powers of my ancestors to unearth is body and to bring it to the surface. The next part was going to be the hard part. I had to project his body to the nearest hospital, one a few miles down that we had passed on the way here.

And I had to do it quickly because Christian was losing his life, fast.

* * *

I haven't thought about Christianin about a year. I used a spell to make myself forget him for his own sake. I wouldn't want Jacob to know that I had saved him and truthfully, I didn't know if he made it but I was secretly hoping he did. I wanted him to be waiting for me when I got out of this relationship. I wanted something that I knew I couldn't have. I didn't do a guilt-free spell for Jacob this time. I wanted him to feel the pain. He seemed completely unaltered anyway.

In spite of everything…. One thing that I could still have were friends. I made friends, lots of them once we moved to northern California. Jacob didn't like it very much, but I didn't like what was going on between him and Leah. They were close, _very _close but it was just platonic.

I still felt that she knew and understood Jacob better than I. So I embarked on my own mission to have my own outlet, my own best friend. But I didn't find him, he found me.

He was originally from Hawaii, tall very muscular with light eyes. We spent a lot of time together at the beach but when Jacob got notice of this, he threatened me. "You can't have any friends unless I say you can."

"What am I, a child?" I asked in a whispered voice, not wanting the kids to hear more arguing.

"You're _mine_."

"Get some sleep Jacob." I started to take him less seriously. I was growing in my witchcraft, I was stronger and I could fight back … as long as I could keep my courage up.

So I kept seeing Akoni. And Jacob found out and got angry.

"I'm going to kill him."

"No you aren't."

"Bonnie, I don't want you around him."

"Jacob … don't do this." I warned.

"You can't stop me. No one can." Jacob shot back. I knew that to an extent, he was right.

This time, Jacob didn't warn me about his plan. This time, I found Akoni dead at the beach where we met customarily. He had been mulled, Jacob's handiwork. As I cried by his lifeless body, Jacob appeared from the darkness and came up to me.

"I told you I'd kill him."

"Why? You're evil." I spat back.

" Don't question me. You love me Bonnie. You're supposed to be here for _me._" Jacob whined.

"I can't do this anymore. I can't keep forgetting … I'm leaving you."

"No you aren't." Jacob yanked me back and forced his body onto me. This time I fought back, harder than I ever had, but it didn't stop him. He pressed me down roughly and ravaged me until I felt shooting pain through my entire body.

I knew that I was going to be pregnant again. I knew that I had to protect my three kids and leave behind this life. I knew that I couldn't take it anymore … And I knew the only other way to stop him was to do to Jacob what he had done to Embry.

But I'm no monster. I turned him in instead. The trade off was a temporary loss of freedom for myself, but I hadn't been free during our five years of being together. I had my fourth child in jail, turning over temporary custody to Leah with the hope that she would keep her promise and relinquish control of the children when I was released.

A year and a half … it was worth it. I would've done anything to stop myself from being Jacob's punching bag again.

* * *

(A/N: This title is from Maria Mena' _I'm In Love Again, _in case you're wondering. I've finished this one and will post one more mini story before completing this whole thing due to lack of interest and … only one other story has been completed. I'll post that one fairly soon for you all to enjoy. Luv and review. –NL)


	9. Hard to Be Faithful: Jacob and Bonnie

**Hard to Be Faithful (Part One)**

* * *

(Summary: Based off of Hinder's _Lips of an Angel... )_

I knew Bonnie way before Bella came back to Forks and I went through my awkward transitions and imprinted Reneesme. Her parents used to take summer vacations to Forks to reconnect with their Quilete ancestors. See Bonnie's dad was one of us.

But he was one of the few who was willing and I guess lucky enough to leave behind our tight-knit, yet very impoverished, community. The first time I ever really noticed Bonnie was when I was twelve and she was fourteen. I always did have a thing for older women.

I remember it very clearly. Bonnie was standing up while the rest of us sat down around the campfire…

"Why don't you sit down with us?"I asked with a smile, something that I often did since I never too myself or life too seriously.

"I'll stand." She responded, crossing her arms over her chest and looking uncomfortable, like she was thinking of a slew of contemptuous thoughts about us. I ignored her for a while, telling horror stories around the fire and making jokes with Quil and Embry. They kept poking fun about the fact that I was the only one who hadn't had a girlfriend.

"People are starting to talk." Quil started as I rolled my eyes. I knew where this was going.

"Come on Jake. Just go out with Mila."

"I don't like her." I shrugged, looking off into the distance and over at Bonnie.

"That's just it. People are starting to wonder if you like _any _girl." Quil added as Embry gave me a sympathetic look and lifted his eyebrows.

"I'm not gay idiots." I clinched my jaw together.

"Prove it." Embry challenged, always putting me on the spot.

"Don't have to." I shot back, annoyed at how asinine they were being. I hadn't kissed a girl yet or had a girlfriend, but I'd liked plenty of girls. I just never said anything because they were much older. I mean I used to like Leah and that's just not going to happen.

"What about her?" Embry persisted, pointing to Bonnie.

"Yeah." Quil pressed.

"I wonder how long until she gets tired of standing." Leah joked randomly as if she wasn't aware of the conversation we were having. In that moment, I would have agreed to anything to get these guys to shut up. So … I shrugged and decided that I should take the first leap of niceness here. Even though she was a good two feet away from us, Bonnie had been watching us the whole time like she wanted to join us but something was holding her back.

"So you're from Florida, right?"

"No. Virginia. My dad moves us around a lot. We did live in Florida for a while and California before that … He says this is the last stop for a while."

"I'm confused."

"Sorry. We lived in Virginia when I was a child and now we're moving back for good." She explained, less hostile than I thought she was going to be. I was guessing that she was just a little scared or something.

"So, how do you like it here?"

"I've been visiting here since I was seven. I'm not new here." She complained as if offended that I didn't know who she was.

"Sorry. It's hard to remember someone who pouts in the corner and doesn't say anything to anyone." I admitted, but then decided that I was too harsh on her. "But now that you've told me something about yourself, I promise I'll never forget you."

She chuckled a soft yet genuinely-amused laugh, the sides of her cheeks forming small barely-there dimples. Cute.

"I don't want you to remember me because I'm from Virginia. That's just stupid."

"Then tell me something else, something interesting." I paused to stare at her intensely like I had seen James Bond do on those movies. He was so cool and I wanted to prove to the guys that I wasn't a wimp … or gay. "Do you want to…" I pointed to a spot away from the bonfire.

"Sure. So… I lived in Japan so I'm like semi-fluent in Japanese. My dad has been making all of us practice French and Spanish around the house…." Bonnie explained, sitting beside me fervently.

I only heard part of what she was saying. I saw Bonnie as a chance, an opportunity to get two things in one shot. I could get the kiss thing over with and prove to everyone that I liked girls. When she finally stopped talking, I smiled again.

"Do you want to hang out again?"

"Maybe."

"But you have to promise to sit down." I demanded as Bonnie started chuckling with her light-hearted laugh.

"No dirty places then." She responded leaving me watching her and the small curves of her body. She wrapped a long-sleeved black cardigan closer to her body, looking down as she walked away and I smiled. She was damn cute.

* * *

The next day and the day after that and after that for three weeks I met up with her again. I was waiting on the side of the community general store with one foot on the side of the building and the other one supporting me. My eyes were closed and I had reached my head up to the sky to feel the warmth.

It was very rare to have days like this in Forks and I loved it.

"Boo!" A high-pitched female voice shifted me out of my peace, startling me. "Ha!"

"Not funny." I groaned, reaching my arms out to tickle her but she took off running. I never thought that someone could move that fast in flip flops, but Bonnie managed to remain ahead of me … for a while until my hands finally reached her waist and she tumbled to the ground in a fit of laughter.

"Uncle!" She yelled as I stopped suddenly and the two of us paused sharing a secret smile. Now was my chance. Now I could …. I started to think as I moved my face closer to hers.

"Ready?" Bonnie got up suddenly, helping me up. I noticed how nice she looked in her summer shorts and casual halter top.

"Yeah?"

"You told me that you'd take me to someplace clean."

"Oh. I _lied_." I smiled as she started to trail behind me.

"What do you mean?"

"Did you bring your swim suit?"

"Yeah, but there aren't any pools around here."

"I know!" I yelled back as I made it to the beach, running into the water with my swimming trunks on. Bonnie chased after me, splashing me until I begged her to stop. There we were, treading in the water … the perfect moment. As we got closer and closer, I could feel the movement of her legs inches from mine.

I took the plunge.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing." I lied.

"How old are you Jacob?"

"Twelve." I answered, hanging my head. Bonnie immediately started swimming back to the shore. "What's wrong?" I chased after her.

"This is pathetic. You're a kid, a baby practically. A _kid _is coming onto me." She shook her head, frustrated.

"You're not that much older than me-"

"You haven't gone through puberty yet. You voice is still as high as mine and me kissing you would be … absolutely pathetic." She blurted out as I felt tears sting my eyes. But that's as far as it went. Boys don't cry.

"See you later Bonnie."

"Jake … wait … I didn't mean it like that. I meant that I would be …. I didn't mean that you're pathetic." She tried to explain in vain. I didn't care what she meant. She said I was nothing. So what if the boys would talk about me again? I wasn't going to kiss Bonnie and maybe my patheticness was the reason why no one else wanted to kiss me except Mila.

I didn't talk to Bonnie for a while since I got sick that night. Food poisoning or something. Two days later she came to visit me.

"I heard you were sick so I brought you something." She appeared with a thermos and a toy. Seriously?

"A toy Bonnie?"

"It's not a _toy. _It's that thing that all the pre-teens are dying to have." Bonnie answered with laughter in her eyes. But I was in no mood for this.

"If you're not here to apologize, then go."

"I am. Look … I thought about it Jake and believe it or not, I know what everyone's been saying about you. And that's why I didn't want to kiss you. I don't want you to test your straightness out on me and then if you do like boys … that would be pathetic, _for me_." She recovered.

"Bull shit."

"Yeah, it is. It's just weird that I like you the way I do." She admitted. "And I thought that … I don't know. I came here to give you what you want."

"I don't want it now." I shrugged even though it was a lie. I wanted it more than anything else now that it was dangling in front of me.

"Okay." Bonnie sighed and started to turn around.

"Kidding." I called out as she smiled and turned back to me.

"Kissing is … really easy." She explained, pressing her lips against mine quickly. I felt shock, surprise and joy all at the same time. I reached for her again as Bonnie kissed me again and again. "Three is enough." Bonnie placed her hand on my face lightly, stroking it before leaving.

After that, I couldn't wait to see her immediately but I didn't because that was her last day with us. Her dad had been called back to work. So … I wouldn't see her. Not again until next summer…

* * *

(A/N: This story doesn't really have _parts _but I didn't want to post a chapter that was 10 pages long. This whole mini-story is done so I HOPE YOU LIKE IT and review. And back to my **shameless promotion**: check out _After the Hurricane_, _The Truth Is, I'm so Sick, _and _La Tortura _(Degrassi). Luv. –NL)

–NL)


	10. Hard to Be Faithful: Part Two

**Part Two: ** **I've Gotta Whisper Cause I Can't Be Too Loud**

* * *

After that, I couldn't wait to see her immediately but I didn't because that was her last day with us. Her dad had been called back to work. So … I wouldn't see her. Not again until next summer and when she came back and we picked up where we left off.

Bonnie commented on how my voice had gotten deeper and I wasn't as lanky as before. I told her that I liked the fact that she had finally gotten boobs and we laughed. We laughed and laughed and talked and kissed a lot. I started calling her golden lips. Being away from each other for 11 months hadn't changed much of anything.

And when she left we vowed to keep in touch and do it all over again … next summer.

I would never say this to anyone or admit it but Bonnie was my first. During the summer of my 16th birthday she came to visit me in the midst of the whole Bella drama. I thought I was falling in love with Bella, but I'd always had feelings for Bonnie.

She was going off to college and I knew that this would be the last time that we would see each other like this. Bonnie was so careful with me, soothing. She was patient and didn't complain or say anything bad about what we had just done. She just kissed me warmly and stayed with me until my dad and I had to take her back to the airport.

I thought about what we'd just done. I thought about my feelings for Bella and how I had kissed her so passionately, but I never thought I'd see Bonnie again. I wasn't really sure that I would ever see her again so … I forced myself to forget her and I consumed all my thoughts with Bella and hid any memory of Bonnie behind for a long long time.

This worked out for a while until I heard from her a few years ago. I was about twenty-one years old and she was just finishing up college. Bonnie was studying to become an archaeologist … I don't know what possessed her to call me.

When she did, I almost didn't answer because the number wasn't familiar. I was glad when I heard her voice. We talked for hours and I wanted to see her again.

We met up a year later both of us secretly hoping to continue our little fling, but I had promised myself to Reneesme .. Nessie, who had just recently entered her teenage years. I was nervous to see Bonnie again, but excited to tell her how everything had changed for me.

She would be really surprised to see me now and I just hoped that her time away from me in college didn't permanently tear us apart.

"Bonnie?"

"Jake?" She ran into my arms, jumping on me with such force that it felt like I had been tackled. "You look … exactly the same, but much much bigger." She commented with a smile. When we parted, she looked at me the way she used to. I could feel the connection, the heat rising, us about to fall into the same patterns that we always did.

"I'm engaged." I blurted out immediately as Bonnie broke out into a smile.

"And I'm in a relationship." Her eyebrows rose as Bonnie wrapped her arm around mine and we started walking to the checked bag area.

"Which one?"

"I can get it." Bonnie stepped up, lifting a huge suitcase that looked like it was about seventy-five pounds too heavy. "Easy."

"Wow? Lift weights much?"

"Look who's talking 'the Incredible Hulk'." Bonnie shot back, placing her hand on my abs. "You need to cut back on the steroids or whatever you're taking."

"No meds. All naturale." I boasted, lifting up my shirt a little, showing off that I was an arrogant little shit … sometimes.

"Really. How?" Bonnie probed, turning to face me. I had to tell her the truth now.

"Look Bonnie … there are some things that you just don't know about me but I want to be honest…" I bent down to where my lips reached her ear. "I'm a werewolf." This would be the time that I'd expect her to say that I was really funny or complain that I had lost my mind.

Her response was a simple, yet short, "I know."

"You know?"

"I know." Bonnie hugged me tightly. "Your exponential growth, how you always got places so quickly, your … _body heat_. I know. And there's something that you should know about me Jake …"

"Wait. I'm still stuck on how you would even know about any of this."

"I'm half Quilete too. I know all the legends and I know … about the cold ones too and what you'll think about this, but just let me say this." Bonnie begged. I shut up for once, knowing that she was serious. "I'm dating one of _them_. And don't judge. He's not perfect but he's right for me at this time."

"I'm really … disappointed to hear that. Bonnie, how can you when you know the legend? When you know who I am and why I still look like I did three years ago?"

"Jake. Don't be a hypocrite." Bonnie tossed back, laying her hands on either side of my temple and holding me there for what seemed like an eternity. "And you … you're with a half-vampire but you _really _wanted to marry her mother who was _turned _into a vamp."

"How did you…?" I wondered as she started to wheel her suitcase down the building.

"Witch."

"Oooh. Wow." I looked at her in awe. Bonnie was always different from everyone else.

"Don't judge me." She joked as we continued the small talk until getting into my car which was old and barely running, but it still worked. "So tell me about her. She's still a kid right?"

"Right." I admitted, looking down. "But I'm willing to wait for her-"

"And I'm not asking you to cheat with me. As amazing as those memories are that I have, I wouldn't force you to do anything that you didn't want to do." Bonnie offered. "And it wouldn't be very nice if I just cheated on Damon. We're not exclusive or anything, but he's really fun … and insecure."

"I'm glad that's settled." I answered, a little upset by her answer. I could just imagine her lips on mine, like kissing an angel. The image was pressed into my memory, playing over and over until we arrived at her dad's house. "Dad and I fixed it up for you."

"Amazing." Bonnie gushed, running up the hill to the front door. I chased after her, unlocking the door and letting myself in. "Oh look! These photos are _awesome_!" She exclaimed, excited. "And … this must be the bedroom…"

"Be good Bonnie."

"I am being good." She joked, resting her hands just above my hips but under my shirt. "But tell me, how long since you've been abstaining until she's old enough to even have the developed parts?"

"Not funny."

"Why would you pick a kid … And I thought I robbed the cradle." Bonnie started unbuckling my pants eagerly. I reached out a hand to stop her.

"I think about the future, not the fleeting desires of the present." I explained confidently.

"Let's stop playing around Jake. I didn't just come here to see you and spend time. And I promise that you can tell her whatever happened was my fault." She tugged at my shirt suggestively with a freedom that I do not remember her having before. "I'll be the bad guy and you can play the victim."

"You are just so-"

"Forward? It's a new feeling to me. I feel like I'm getting things figured out." Bonnie explained removing my shirt completely and kneeing down until the side of her face touched my stomach, leaving me feeling as though she carried more body heat than I.

"This might be too … close." I argued as Bonnie stood up and refastened my shorts.

"How's this … I promise we won't have sex." Bonnie whispered, reaching her hands around the back of my neck, brushing her lips against mine. "I'm sorry." She breathed, giving me one more with her lips so sweet, so soft, so angelic. "I can't help myself."

"Damn Bonnie." I moaned. It had been a long time. I'd almost forgotten how good she felt.

* * *

(A/N: :) -NL)


	11. Hard to Be Faithful: Part Three

**Part Three: ****My Girl's in the Next Room, Sometimes I Wish She Was You  
**

* * *

Bonnie and I spent a lot of time together, laughing, running around, playing tricks on each other just like we were kids. We ran in the fields barefoot, I introduced her to the pack and she watched as I transformed into a werewolf with extreme interest.

"That was amazing." Bonnie commented, grinning at me as she waited for me to become human again.

'_I'm not changing back in front of you.'_ I told her with my new power which allowed me to project thoughts into selected people with Quilete blood.

"Why not?" She challenged.

_'Because …'_

"What if I told you a secret about me?"

_'I already know everything about you.'_

"Shit." Bonnie responded as I howled. I turned to go into the woods and change back, but Bonnie followed me. I hadn't noticed until she was standing directly behind me and I could suddenly hear her breathing. "Witch, remember?"

"Cheater." I growled, slipping on my shorts before she could see anything else.

"I know." Bonnie looked at me suddenly and I clinched my jaw to stop me from making any dangerous moves towards her.

"Damn … can you stop looking at me like that? It's way too sexy and we're trying to do the friends thing golden lips." I complained as she smiled and pouted as though she were posing for a picture. When she stood there a little too long, I knew that a thought was churning in her head.

"When's the last time you've gotten wasted at a club?" Bonnie asked as I shrugged in response. "Perfect. Get your ass dressed. We're going out."

I followed Bonnie wherever she wanted to go, dancing and drinking whatever she did, just to prove that I could keep up. And that night Bonnie kept her promise to me and didn't take advantage of my intoxication. She did however kiss me in such a way that I would never forget. And I was nearly heart-broken when she had to leave. Again.

* * *

I'm twenty-eight now. I look about eighteen though and Nessie looks about twenty even though she is much, much younger than that.

I hear from Bonnie every once in a while. We used to talk every day, but it just got too hard to be on the phone with her in front of Nessie and have to filter myself. I couldn't call her babe, honey, golden lips … any of the things that I used to say when we were just us.

I wasn't expecting anything that night. It was just a normal day with my fiancé, soon to be wife, coming home from her part time job after school. We decided it was better to wait until after college to marry. And for the first couple of years of college, she went to a school, a _lesser _school just because it had a short commute, just to be closer to me.

"How was school babe?"

"Tiring." Nessie replied with her sweeter-than-sugar voice.

"Work?"

"Not too bad."

"So … I guess I'll see you in bed?" I asked carefully, not wanting to sound like I was pushing her or anything. Edward was really old fashioned and I completely got the no sex before marriage thing. It wasn't revolutionary and it made our relationship harder, but I respected the Cullens completely.

"Sure sweetie."

I stayed up that night, wanting Nessie to go to bed before I did so that we wouldn't be lying in bed awake at the same time. If we were, I didn't know if I could control myself. It was getting harder and harder to control my desires of the flesh. So I decided to stay up.

She was still shuffling around in the room when I heard the call.

I picked up but before any words were spoken, Bonnie's frightened voice echoed in the background. "Jake, please come and find me. Hurry."

* * *

I was out of the house into my wolf form as fast I could, but I did so only to realize that I didn't know where Bonnie was. Not exactly.

It was times like these when I was grateful for the pack and the stupid drills we had to do, one of which was a locator … which basically meant I had to tap into everything I had, focus everything on Bonnie in order to find her. And it took about an hour to get to Virginia from Washington, but I did.

"Bonnie?" I broke into the house, sweating and naked. It didn't matter. I had no shame.

"Bravo. He's pretty fast." A lanky, yet spuriouswhite guy clapped as though I had put on a good show. He was a vamp. I could tell by the smell of him.

"Damon, don't be stupid. This is between us." Bonnie appeared from the shadows. She had been badly bruised, but she looked ready and alert for anything.

"You. Out." I demanded.

"I should be giving _you _dog commands." He responded with a jovial smile. "But in case you wanted to know … I was through with her anyway. I thought about maybe _turning her-_"

"You wouldn't dare." I threatened.

"Oh, but it's halfway done. My blood is circulating through her body as we speak and if Bonnie would stop being such a fighter, she could join my team." Damon offered.

"Just go." Bonnie ordered as Damon backed down. He knew he was outnumbered and would lose this battle.

"I may be leaving now, but I'll come back for you my pretty." He promised, forcing his lips onto hers quickly and then disappearing like a flash of lightning. Bonnie looked down disappointed and I knew it was because I caught her enjoying that kiss from Damon.

And it made my blood burn.

* * *

(A/N: Just 1 more chapter to go on this one ... I'm posting another one-shot called _The Cullen Imprint_. Need I say more? And it's not the obvious Cullen either. Love and review. -NL)

**As part of my **_shameless promotion … _**check out:**

**After the Hurricane **(Twilight)

**The Truth Is** (Secret Life of the American Teenager)

**South of Nowhere** (Vampire Diaries and Twilight)


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